The Fresh Prince Project

by Dr. Tweenus Gonzo

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes with a painting of one of the 24 album covers. Go here ( to see the different covers. Let me know which episode you want and I'll paint it and include it with your cd. If you don't let me know, I'm going to give you any of the ones I have done, or paint whichever one I feel like painting for you.

    Also includes immediate download of 24-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.
    ships out within 10 days

      $15 USD




This is a song for every episode of the first season of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I recorded this over the last year and a half.

The cd comes in a jewel case with the tracklist on the back and the painting of your choice. The cd itself will just have "Dr. Tweenus Gonzo" and "The Fresh Prince Project" and a silly, terrible drawing in sharpie on it. I have uploaded pictures of this, so this paragraph should be entirely unnecessary.

It is free to download if you want, but if you do pay for it, most of the money goes straight to me. Bandcamp gets a small percent, and there's a small paypal fee. I get the rest, and it is very much appreciated. I will spend it wisely on superfluous things.


released October 10, 2010



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Dr. Tweenus Gonzo Georgia

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Track Name: The Fresh Prince Project
You've been skewering everything
With your flippant shenanigans
From the minute you walked through that door

You deliberately embarrassed me
And I don't get it
From the minute you walked through that door

Nobody wants to change you
Being a joker's what got you into trouble
You can't take anything seriously
You think you're so wise
I grew up on the streets
Just like you
I encountered bigotry
You could not imagine

You have a nice poster
of Malcolm X on your wall
I heard the brother speak
Read every word he wrote
Believe me, I know where I come from
Before you criticize someone
You find out what he's all about

I'm going to bed. Goodnight.
Track Name: Bang the Drum, Ashley
I don't want to play the violin
And I don't want to play the drums
I don't learn a thing from Madame Chotchka
And I won't learn a thing from Jazz

You say, "A young woman who can play the violin
Is an accomplished young lady."
"A girlie that can play the drums can
Write her own ticket"

I'm just a little girl
Not wanting to waste my time
On instruments that
I don't even like

I'm sorry to disappoint
Sorry to disappoint

I also want to quit
Ballet because I really
Hate it.
I really do.
Track Name: Clubba Hubba
Say there, Mimi, might I say that you rate a perfect ten on my niftiness meter?

I don't think so

He's Dr. NO
(He won't let you date his daughter)

Baby, you look so good, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

I don't think so

He's Dr. NO
(He won't let you date his daughter)

Mademoiselle, my life was but a mere whisper until you entered into it. Whether it was chance or blind fate or kismet, if you will, that brought us together, I would be remiss to let this moment pass without telling you how deeply you have affected the very core of my being.

I don't think so

He's Dr. NO
(He won't let you date his daughter)
(You are not good enough)
Track Name: Not With My Pig, You Don't
Growing up on the mean streets of Baltimore, Maryland, Philip Banks overcame great obstacles to win a scholarship to Princeton University in 1963. Princeton was the turning point in Philip Banks' life. It was then that he developed an interest in law and distinguished himself as a fine student earning himself a place at Harvard Law School. But did you know that Philip Banks, in addition to becoming a partner of the prestigious law firm of Firth, Wynn and Meyer, remained quite active in the field of civil rights, culminating in his crowning achievement in 1975 when he was elected to the board of the NAACP.

I'm not ashamed of
where I come from
It's Yamacraw, North Carolina
I raised champion pigs
I was the first black Young Farmers President
Track Name: Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy
So you enjoyed it, huh?
And Hilary falling in love was the icing on the cake?
It's just a shame that he had to leave
Before he had a chance
To ruin her life

We grew up together
We're from the same neighborhood
We're the same person

He always managed to care about me
You weren't there
In 7th grade I'd get jumped
trying to take books home from school
If Tray hadn't been there to throw those
Punches and help me jump those fences
Then maybe I wouldn't be here
Track Name: Mistaken Identity
They were just doing their jobs
They were just doing their jobs

You ain't learned nothing this weekend
We weren't stopped for driving too slow
We were stopped because we are
black guys in a nice car

You just don't get it
No map is going to save you
And neither is your glee club
Or your fancy Bel-Air address
Or who your daddy is
None of that matters
They only see one thing

They were just doing their jobs
They were just doing their jobs
...weren't they?
Track Name: Def Poet's Society
Tick tock clock
the clock is ticking for you
Cause the love you said you'd give
Came up way past due
So dance to the clock rock
Stay on the floor
Cause when the ticks turn to tocks
I'll be knocking on your door

Cannon to the right of them
Cannon to the left of them
Cannon in front of them
Volleyed and thundered

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Pansies are poets
Will, tell me it isn't true

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Jazz and I are black
but Carlton, what are you?

Cannon to the right of them
Cannon to the left of them
Cannon in front of them
Volleyed and thundered

Listen to the street beat
Hear the sound pound
Plug your ears
Mask your fears
Something weird's going down
So listen to the street beat
Listen to the box shock
Listen or I'll kill you

Cannon to the right of them
Cannon to the left of them
Cannon in front of them
Volleyed and thundered

My love for you is like a river
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver
One look from you is more precious than gold
Let's go get some barbecue and get busy

Cannon to the right of them
Cannon to the left of them
Cannon in front of them
Volleyed and thundered

Cannon to the right of them
Cannon to the left of them
Cannon in front of them
Volleyed and thundered
Track Name: Someday Your Prince Will Be in Effect
She has to be at the party by midnight
She has to be a human being
First one to get a date wins

My sister is having a party and I was
wondering if you would like to
show me this pen

You like dancers?
Well baby peep this
Man, girls ain't nothing but trouble

I would love to go to the Halloween party
but I can only go with one of you

Scram, Carlton!
Not so fast, Will!

Liars, both of them
Carlton wins the girl

Who'd've guessed it

We've got Dracula with Mrs. Claus
And Superfly with Cinderella
But Mrs. Claus is just a thief
being arrested by Eugene
Track Name: Kiss My Butler
Happy birthday, Geoffrey
Happy birthday, G.

I know what to get him
It's the perfect gift
You're all doing his work
While I'm going to find him a woman

Happy birthday, Geoffrey
Happy birthday, G.

No luck at the mall
But Ashley has a friend
Who has a new nanny
lonely, from England
I'll leave the unwrapping to you

Happy birthday, Geoffrey
Happy birthday, G.

I made a huge mistake
I want her as my date
But Geoffrey realized
What I was up to
And he gave me her phone number

Happy birthday, Geoffrey
Happy birthday, G.
Track Name: Courting Disaster
Nothing like a little organized sport
to straighten a guy out
Air Fresh gym shoes
Just pass it to Will

When there's a Will
There's a way

Will power
Will power

Oh, he's just a ball hog
A one man team
Yeah, he may have won the game
but now he's just a show-off
Coach gives him
Special treatment
He doesn't show up on time
or pay attention
But still
Just pass it to will

I've been here for 2 months
I've been getting yelled at at home
Screamed at at school
I've been sent to detention
I've been grounded
I've been threatened
with expulsion on almost a daily basis
I finally do something I get credit for
And you can't take it

You're a one man circus
You woof at the crowd
You kiss the cheerleader between plays
You shoot the ball backwards
A real star plays with the team
Track Name: Talking Turkey
Will's mom came to town
to visit for Thanksgiving
She's upset with how
the kids treat the help.

She thinks Will's been lazy
That he's only learned one thing
He's learned how to be a rich kid
and something's got to be done.

The kids in this house are getting a free ride
A free ride in a fancy car
But I don't mean to be critical

So the kids have to fix Thanksgiving dinner
Oh, my. What a disaster
Hilary's yams are burnt
Ash's cranberry sauce fell on the floor
Carlton's stuffing is goop
And Will's turkey is frozen.

That free ride in that fancy car
just needs a little more responsibility.
Track Name: Knowledge is Power
Hilary got Will grounded for a month.
So he plays Sherlock Homeboy to get revenge.
Because Toni's roommates have the combined IQ of a raisin, Will finds out Hilary dropped out of college three months ago.

It's blackmail time in Bel-Air.

So now that she's Will's slave and has to wash his lucky drawers, she turns to Carlton for help but he just blackmails her too.

Then at dinner they humiliate her. Make her slap and bark. She breaks down and confesses and the blackmail ends.
Track Name: Day Damn One
Willburt Smithsonian
transferred to a private school
An all boys school
With the Alagaroos

Dr. Bloate was not
the bad guy in Goldfinger
He was however
in Back to the Future (you slacker!)

He's the new big man on campus
with his inside-out coat
and his tie on his head
but now he's ruined the alumni desk

Tisk squared, Willburt
You've gotta confess
You were the one
who carved the "fresh"

Carlburt's a rat and
the preppies took Willburt to trial

I didn't think y'all would get so mad. It's just an old desk. A new desk...that would be vandalism. Those guys carved their name into a new desk. You got their pictures on the wall. I just did it to be remembered like them.

Cornflake made the first stand
and the rest followed suit
Willburt didn't get expelled
but he's gotta pay for repairs
Track Name: Deck the Halls
It's Christmas time and
Ashley's idea of fun is
teaching herself new words
like autodidactic

Will just wants her
to have a real Christmas
The pretentious decorator
freaks him out

Will's lights and decorations
piss off all the neighbors
Especially Mr. Evander Holyfield
It kills Ashley's newfound love of Christmas

Some carolers come and sing
And the neighbors change their minds
Even that uptight old hold out
Because President Reagan likes the lights.
Track Name: Lucky Charm
I'm here to see Will
His advise saved me millions
I was gonna invest
but thanks to yo homie
I went home and got some rest

Hey, Will
You're my lucky charm
You don't know that you know
But you know

You're better than Sparky
He hasn't talked in weeks
But you're just 17
About to turn 18
And you just made me a million dollars

So Phil you're fired
And Will you are too
That stock just plummeted
and I want 14 million from you

So Will is unlucky
but Phil is a Capricorn
that should bring me success
Congrats, Phil
You are my lawyer again
Track Name: The Ethnic Tip
I'm failing history because it is boring
There needs to be more black history in the curriculum
You say that is not a bad idea (it's not? (it's not? (it'snot?)))
So we'll go to the parent-teacher meeting to complain (you will? (you will? (you will?)))

Why don't we learn about black historical figures?
Professor Coach Smiley is too lazy
But I think it is important and you know it is
But you're stalling. To the rescue, Aunt Viv.

On the first day of class she taught us about the drinking gourd.
She also taught us to wade in the water
Then she embarrassed me and Carlton.
And gave us a really tough assignment.

Last night I dreamed that I went to prom with Harriet Tubman
I didn't think this class would be a free ride.
I didn't think this class would be so hard.
Why were you harder on both of us?

I'm sorry if you thought I was being hard on you, but I thought the two black students would want to get the most of the course.

Now Will you can read Malcolm X, wear the tshirts, and shout the slogans, but unless you know all the history you trivialize the entire struggle.
Track Name: The Young and the Restless
Oh Granny
I am so glad you came to visit
But Uncle Phil
won't let you do a thing

He tells me
all kinds of stuff to do
and I never listen
and neither should you

Uncle Phil's not going
to stop treating you like a baby
So DJ Granny sneak out with me
Be my date to Heavy D.

Will. No more horsing around (No more horsing around)

Uncle Phil's freaking out
and he ends up on stage
and we do feel bad
...aaah well
Track Name: It Had to Be You
Hey Janet
You don't have a goatee
Meet me again
You can't be Jazz's sister

If it don't work out
it might ruin our friendship
but I'm willing to take that risk

She's beautiful
and charming
and smart
and completely psychotic
and controlling

On our first date
she's got our future planned out
6 kids. 3 girls and 3 boys
But first we gotta get married

I've gotta get rid of her
I'll dump her off on Carlton
who apparently has the gift
to control that crazy bird
Track Name: Nice Lady
Lord Fowler and Lady Penelope
are coming to town
And I've got to take Lady Penelope
to the opera

As soon as the Lord left
she let her hair down
stole the car and ran off
to the roughest bar in town

I've got a Ziggy Marley concert on the line

The Lady's a tramp
and we can't find her
So I guess it's time
to confess that I lost her

There goes my chance to see Ziggy

At the last second
the Lady came in
and saved me from the
trouble I was in

So now I get to see Ziggy
even though Uncle Phil knows it was all a lie
Track Name: Love at First Fight
They got off to a bad start
but they quickly started dating
They tried to hate each other
but they fell in love

Oh, Will is dating one of Aunt Viv's students

Now Will and Kayla spend all their time together
And now her grades are starting to slip
So Aunt Viv interferes and tells her not to blow it
They break up and Will leaves
and we never see her again.
Track Name: Banks Shot
Will takes the car against Uncle Phil's wishes
goes to a pool hall and dominates a midget
and gets roped into a game for twenty dollars a ball.

Will's getting hustled by a couple of dudes

They've taken the car until the get the 300 Will owes
You went to the pool hall and you lost the car?

Uncle Phil to the rescue
He's gonna play for the car
and after one game he is down $400
They play again for 100 a ball
Phil turns to Geoffrey and says
"Break out Lucille."

A couple of dudes got hustled by Uncle Phil
Track Name: 72 Hours
Do you think that Carlton can survive in Compton for 2 days?
Do you think that Carlton can survive in Compton for 2 days?
He's made a bet with Will

He's got his hip hop flash cards for his weekend stay in Jazz's crib and he quickly adapts

But then he takes it too far and he freaks out when he plans to go to MacArthur Park

So Will rats him out and loses the bet. Aunt Viv comes and takes C-Note away.

Now they're both in deep trouble because Will loves Carlton too much to let him die in the park

Do you think that Carlton can survive in Compton for 2 days?
He can. He can. He can.
Do you think that Carlton can survive in Compton for 2 days?
He can.
Track Name: Just Infatuation
I'm almost 12 years old
and what I want for my birthday
is a boy named Little T
He's that boy in all the little girl's magazines

Will got G to dress up like a clown
and Carlton's doing magic
but Hilary hooked me up
with Little T who sang "Happy Birthday" to me as I fainted

So tomorrow we're going for pizza
and daddy sent
Will and Carlton
to spy on us
In spite of that it was the most
wonderful night of my life
Track Name: Working It Out
Hilary quit her job at the art gallery
to work for a famous movie star
Why can't you be nice to Jazz?
You know he likes you.
But you've have him thrown out of the house
like 18 times

All a part of his plan

Hilary's new boss is mean
and she's got a thing for me
If I don't go out with her
Hilary will be fired.
And if Hilary won't go out with Jazz,
I won't go out with Marissa.

All a part of his plan

At the date Jazz defends Hilary's honer.
Forces her to stand up for herself.
She quit and I ditched
Marissa the cradle crook.

All a part of his plan
All a part of his plan