1. |
Santa and Mary
00:44
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What's wrong with people making Christmas-themed porno?
Why haven't I seen one where Joseph watches Santa take Mary from behind?
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2. |
Santa's Magic Fingers
01:34
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Every year Santa would sneak into my room to stick his fingers into my mouth. Then he would whisper softly into my ear, "I want to kill you."
Is this normal? It was my favorite part of Christmas.
This was the only thing I ever got for Christmas. Why, oh why, do you think he stopped?
Is this normal? It was my favorite part of Christmas.
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3. |
This Song is Terrible
02:25
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I woke up early on Christmas morning.
I ran downstairs to open up my presents.
But mommy was on her knees giving Santa a blowjob.
Daddy was choking himself and jacking off.
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4. |
The Nameless Snowball
01:10
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The nameless snowball didn't have time to consider its existence before it died.
What Christmas magic brought it to life in the middle of a goddamn snowball fight?
If it had a mouth it would have cursed the kid that threw it at his fatass friend.
What Christmas magic brought it to life in the middle of a goddamn snowball fight?
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5. |
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On the only day of Christmas, my true love gave to me herself cut up and wrapped under the tree. The day after Christmas the police came to me, slapped on some cuffs and began questioning.
I told 'em I didn't do it.
She didn't it to herself.
"Liar," they said as they locked my cell.
So now my trial's about to start.
Nobody believes me.
If they'd only let me put her back together she could explain everything.
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6. |
Baby, It's Cold Outside!
00:33
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I made the mistake of farting in the shower this morning.
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7. |
But Seriously
01:04
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But seriously, there needs to be a porno where Mary get's gang-banged by 300 midgets dressed as elves while Santa and Joseph double-team an angel in the corner of a barn.
And then in the end, Mary starts crapping out toy after toy after toy.
And then Santa collects them to distribute them to every girl and boy.
Yeah.
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